Being a God is no different than being a mother. Not that anyone would ever say it. Being a Queen Mother may be more important than being a god. She has to care in a way that’s embedded with her natural inclination to care or nurture. It becomes interchangeable. One can be convinced that they need a god when what they are actually wanting is a mother. They want someone to care. They want to be consoled until the pain of a situation ebbs away. Until the wrong is made right again.
When a Queen Mother steps onto the mothership it’s to check on the workers – the adult children of the family in kinships located throughout the different galaxies. But every now and again, space is required. Necessary. And it has nothing to do with work. We can be so much bigger but also exceptionally smaller too! It feels as empty as a desert but even then, whether it’s light or dark, it’s just more and more space.
Thanks fo
Space is energy. One doesn’t fight energy, it is to be connected with. Magnetize it or repel it. Most otherworldly beings have learned to connect with it. Choose one. The earthlings have not.
Something about this particular time feels different. Off. I’m never cold. The mothership adjusts to our temperature. We tend to not feel cold. Cold never means the temperature is too low. It is usually a sign of anxiety, fear – a warning of some sort. Something is happening or has happened. Something is coming.
Aysi, the youngest of us, is walking in front of me in a mustard yellow linen gown, with her trademark two braids falling past her shoulders. A queen in her own right, her role is by my side and has been since the day she was born, near a decade of moons after I came to light.
My eggplant linen gown looks good on me but I don’t look like a glowing golden star ready to come forth into a different dimension. She’s glowing and I would have it no other way.
Avi stands and bows when we enter the control room. The only son and eldest of us, his cobalt blue linen two-piece makes him look like a sparkling rare gem. Blue is a good color on him. Aysi hugs him instead of sticking to the formality of what we’re supposed to be and do. They could be twins except for the decade between them. He’s a protector of his baby sister and she preens under his attention since before she was aware. But it’s Aysi, of course she’s always been aware. The knower of all things – a seer, she knew that she was putting her big brother under her spell. She did the same to our father, made in his likeness – my baby sister is loved.
“There might be something going on that you won’t love,” Avi says, with a quick, reverent head bow, wanting to return to business. He turns Aysi’s chair for her to sit. “Only Bomani has sent in his morning reports. No one is where they should be. Ntombe is in the Andromeda Galaxy. Clay and Cairo are in the Milky Way. Bomani is in Black Eye. I can’t pull up where Onxy, Amina or Zayd is just yet but I’ve sent out the call for them to report in moments before you entered.”
Aysi is waving her hand over the control board like she’s casting some magic here and there, as things light and blink beneath her fingertips. “Zayd is near the Milky Way. Amina and Onyx are too far away. Further away than Bomani. I can’t get a read on them.”
“See them, Aysi. Where are they?”
“Surrounded by blue,” She whispers. She puts her mug of hot tea to her lips with her eyes closed, sipping blindly. “It looks like water in space. They’re not swimming or floating, but they are safe. Their kinships are not malfunctioning in any way. I sense no resistance.”
“What do you sense?”
“There’s a planet. It feels dead but there’s heat. It’s a very small amount but it’s there. They sense that much. Life is there. I’m unfamiliar with the energy of the planet.”
“Avi, call them back.”
“I have. It might take a moment for them to receive the frequency of it.”
I take a deep breath to center myself, wishing I had Aysi’s tea in my hand to ground me. Something is happening. What assignment are they on that everyone is so scattered? Do I even want to know? They seem to be on one accord in all of them being in unassigned and unapproved coordinates.
I’m split between two bodies and two dimensions. This isn’t my doing. I’m in the mothership but there is a moment that I am on Earth, but not in this present energy and we’re running. From what, I can’t see. I’m holding a scroll, dressed in royal dress though I feel I am not royalty. Is it even me? It is me. I am seeing through her eyes, running through a jungle-like landscape in a time that’s long gone.
Someone is coming upon me hard and fast. My heart is ready to pump out of my chest and my legs burn with a fire ready to go out. I won’t make it. Wherever I’m trying to go, whatever I’m trying to do, I won’t make it. I know it. The scroll that I’m holding, I hold like a lifeline wanting to find a fire for it but I can’t destroy it. It must exist. It’s not imperative that I exist and I know that the moment I smell masculine scents in the air: ale, undigested meat, tobacco, and leather – He is not alone.
I won’t make it. Wherever I think I’m running to, I won’t make it and the precious things that I’m holding will be lost. Psalms 23 It will be light for many in the darkness in the years to come.’ a female voice says, centering me more than the thin paper in my hand. ‘It is time. It is done. You are in the book of love.” Then, just like that, it’s all over.
I jump back into my body taking a deep breath not sure what just happened to me. I’m winded like I’ve been running in a jungle for my life. Everything comes back into frame. I am on the mothership with my sister in her mustard yellow looking like a shooting star, and my brother in cobalt blue looking like a midnight sky she can glow in, both watching me. Avi is questioning but worried. Aysi is knowing, she would know exactly what I just experienced.
“Take my seat, Sister.” Aysi stands.
“It’s not necessary. Where are we?” I tremble, shaking off a memory I didn’t know that I had. “Where is everyone? Have they responded?”
“They are here. Cairo is not here, but everyone else is.” Avi huffs. He wants to talk about what just happened but he’d stuff it for another time. Aysi has taken her seat but her attention is now divided between me and all of the adult children that are willfully disobeying rules and structure set in place to keep them safe. She’s sitting sideways, half facing me so keep an eye on me, I know. I can’t tell her not to be concerned for me. That’s not who she is. She’s a fixer, a healer. She will try to heal. But if there’s nothing to heal she’s out of her depth, which is cause for concern. She sips her tea, instead.
“Cairo has left his kinship.” Ntombe says. Dark on the screen that is hovering in a random space, her brows furrowed, her voice with a hint of frustration in it. Something has definitely happened.
“He left his kinship over twenty hours ago. He was in the Milkyway. His kinship is still there. We cannot reach him. His crew said he has gone to Earth.” Clay says. Aysi’s only offspring, her son, a replica of her in every way possible He even sounds like her. Except at the moment, he’s not concerned, he’s angry. But underneath all of that anger he’s scared, his eyes gone wide trying to see. Another seer that can’t see. It says something that Clay can’t see his cousin.
“Why would he go to Earth, Clay? Why would he not communicate that he was leaving his kinship to go to Earth? No one is allowed to abandon their aircraft, especially not to go on planet. Who authorized this earth trip and did any of you know this?
“I knew that he was curious, is all.” Notombe admits.
“I knew of his increasing interest in the planet,” Clay says, saying a thing he looks like he rather take to an unforbidden place to never be spoken again. “He mentioned it. I didn’t know that he would go. We’ve been orbiting Earth off and on for some time according to Earth’s rotation, it’s been maybe six months. He took a small kin pod to get through the atmosphere when we were all resting. I lost transmission with him at night time in the Northern Hemisphere.”
‘Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for you are with me…’ The voice says.
“You lied.” Aysi takes over. I am not myself. Who’s voice is in me? “You have lied for a very long time. It’s as if we have rules if they on’t be followed, what is the purpose of them? When you send reports, are none of them true? All of you will have to be landed. There are plenty more that are vying for these positions.” Aysi says, barely raising her voice. But her anger is felt through the tone of her voice feeling like the vine of a mature fern. Which I can only imagine is to spare her son my wrath by giving him hers.
“I tracked his pod. Central Illinois. It’s near a Chicago River, poorly hidden,” Avi says, reading and tracking from his control board screens that keeps shifting and wavering that it’s hard to keep up with if you don’t know what to look for. Energy. Cairo’s energy. “There’s a girl.”
“Of course, there’s a girl.” Aysi scoffs.
“Zora Asenath Zadiq Auguste.” Bomani says, only audio that we can’t see. He sounds as if he’s proud, a smile in his voice. Elder brother would be proud of his baby brother breaking the rules for a girl. No matter the body, male energy seems to be overly impressed with the female energy and all the bodies she tends to wear.
“Why can’t we see you? What are you doing? Where are you?” Aysi asks.
“I experienced a bit of rock and meteorite hits. I’m returning to Imago as we speak. I’ve forwarded an updated report. Before I go, that’s the girls’ name. He mentioned his thoughts of bringing her or joining her. I suspect he has decided to join her.” The light that was blinking quickly is gone. Bomani is gone.
We are all silent. Not that Cairo could leave and decide his fate would be with a human woman, it’s not possible. We watch the humans of earth. We do not interfere in their short lives in any way. We direct souls, find energy in hidden corners of dark space and direct them home. Some belong to our planet. Some belong to other planets. We guide them home. That’s it. We don’t intervene. We don’t make plans to exit out of our energy to embody a human body to be with them. Yet, this is what he’s done.
‘Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me…’ the voice continues as if it’s chanting. Who am I hearing? Why? No one should be able to reach out to me in such a way. I am a god. I am to be called on and I decide if I will answer the call or not. I shall not be harassed in such a way. I close myself off to the voice and regain control over myself, over the situation.
“Bring up his energetic chip. Bring up the girl, Avi.” I say firmly. I am Queen Mother. Aysi arches an brow up at me but even she knows better than to speak and inquire anything about me right now. She sips her tea. Surely, it’s cool now.
Avi does as I say. He moves all the faces of the family that seem shame or guilty, or they’re feigning such a thing because weren’t they all in on it?
The screen shows Cairo landing in an area there’s more trees than land. Everything is brown instead of green. It looks like a decaying land to me. His crash left him bleeding and sore but he heals himself quickly enough. His pod is not so easily fixable. Through his eyes, we can all see that he looks at it taking it as a sign. Accepting the limited access of it as confirmation to validate his human manly desire.
He takes on a body that’s darker than he is. He makes himself taller by three inches. Thicker, more solid. I sigh. Yes, these are options. But what mother wants to know exactly how her son is preparing himself for a woman to want him. “Can we speed this along?” I ask my brother.
He speeds it up a bit. I can feel that he is a bit approving of it himself. He would be. Cairo becomes a bullet on the digital screen. When he reaches the girl, his body is alive with energy. He is radiating. His body, though he enlarged it, is still too small to hold his energetic response to her.
She is not as dark as he, the color of rich copper with deep red undertones, her hair is a dark brown in long locks pinned up around her head, loosely framing her face in a semi-controlled chaos. There doesn’t seem to be anything special about her. Not until she notices him, watching her, waiting on her to see him. She lights up in a very similar way that he is lit up for her. But her aura isn’t clear. But he would see it. Moreover, he would feel it.
She runs to him on a college campus from a fair distance away on manicured grass. I can see that place is called Chicago State. There are concrete benches on the property located at random places. Small three and four story brown brick buildings, randomly placed on the property not entirely connected. They are not the only ones on campus. But the few students walking don’t seem to register to them enough to interrupt their joy at seeing each other again.
She yells his name as he scoops her up in his arms like it’s been two life times since they’ve seen each other. “I thought I’d never see you again.” She says in his neck, her voice vibrating through his skin. Something is there. Familiar. Why?
“I told you I would return.” He says, his accent a Nigerian one, thicker than need be. I admit to myself. I almost smile. He’s more than smitten. He’s been taken. “I’m going to stay with you.”
I sigh, remembering his kin pod being mostly inoperable, him abandoning it. This was his plan. Of course, it was.
She pulls back, easing back to stand on her own two feet again. The worry is in her body as she holds on to him but tries to let go. He closes up the space between them and looks into her eyes. I gasp. We all do. She’s one of ours. Her eyes are wide and glossy, marked with that deep space, full moon look that keeps shifting. There’s a hint of purple coloring in the corners hiding to the point one could almost miss it. We wouldn’t miss it. We notice it. We would look for it.
“Who is she?” I ask. It’s clear who she is. What I really want to know but don’t ask is how long has she been on Earth. I have no memory of her. I don’t automatically have a file for her. She doesn’t exist.
…
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